What Your Coffee Order Says About You — A Strictly Scientific Study

The Auntie Council wishes to be upfront about something.

This study is, scientifically speaking, not peer reviewed. It has not been submitted to any journal. It will not be presented at a conference. No ethics board has approved it, and frankly, given the conclusions, no ethics board ever will.

What it is, however, is accurate. The kind of accurate that only comes from decades of watching British people order coffee, noting the look on their faces, observing what they do with the cup, and drawing conclusions that no clinical psychologist would endorse but every barista would immediately recognise.

A real De’Longhi survey of 2,000 UK coffee drinkers found that 64% of Brits believe the type of coffee someone drinks says a lot about their personality, and that 38% have actually judged someone based on their coffee order. The Council considers 38% to be a significant undercount.

We have compiled the results. The findings are below. You may recognise yourself. You may not enjoy it.

☕ The Flat White Drinker

“I know what I want and I want it done properly.”

You are, statistically speaking, the most functional person in the room. The flat white — a double ristretto with a small amount of velvety textured milk, originated in Australia and New Zealand and now the cornerstone of the UK’s coffee identity — is the order of someone who has done their research.

You discovered flat whites sometime between 2010 and 2015, either because you visited Melbourne, dated someone who visited Melbourne, or worked near a café that clearly had someone who’d visited Melbourne. You haven’t ordered anything else since.

What the research says: According to De’Longhi’s survey, flat white drinkers are “culture vultures who live life with a glass half full.” The Council finds this accurate and wishes to add: you probably own a decent hand grinder and have opinions about water temperature.

Personality verdict: Dependable. Slightly evangelical about coffee but at least you’re right. Will recommend the flat white to anyone who asks and several people who didn’t. Has probably said the phrase “it’s really just a small latte but better” at least once this week.

Auntie rating: ★★★★★ No notes.

☕ The Latte Drinker

“I’d like a coffee, but I’m not ready to commit to coffee.”

You are Britain’s most popular coffee drinker. 46% of UK coffee drinkers order a latte, which makes you the median British person standing at a counter — and there is nothing wrong with that. The latte is a perfectly constructed drink: espresso softened by a generous amount of steamed milk, inoffensive, reliable, a warm hug in a tall glass.

The Council does not judge latte drinkers. We judge people who judge latte drinkers.

What the research says: Latte drinkers are statistically more likely to have a degree, enjoy books, and describe themselves as people-pleasers who go out of their way to help others. 46% of UK coffee lovers order one. You are the country in a cup.

Personality verdict: Warm, sociable, slightly people-pleasing, has definitely said “oh, I don’t mind, anything is fine” when they clearly did mind. Owns a large plant they’ve named. Listens to podcasts about mindfulness while not quite being mindful enough to remember to water the plant.

Auntie rating: ★★★★☆ Solid. Entirely acceptable. We’d share a table with you.

☕ The Cappuccino Drinker

“I like the idea of adventure but I’d like it foamy, please.”

The cappuccino sits precisely between the latte and the espresso on the personality spectrum — more adventurous than the former, less terrifying than the latter. You like balance. You like things done in thirds. You are, in many respects, the Libra of the coffee world.

You also have feelings about the chocolate sprinkles. Either you insist on them or you feel strongly they’re unnecessary. There is no cappuccino drinker who is neutral about the chocolate sprinkles. The Council has never met one.

What the research says: Cappuccino drinkers are described as “well-read and serious” who are “more adventurous than latte drinkers and prepared to push themselves a little into unknown territory.” 39% of UK coffee drinkers order one.

Personality verdict: Thoughtful. Slightly serious. Would describe their favourite book as “a bit niche, you’ve probably not heard of it” and then be mildly disappointed when you have. Will engage in the chocolate sprinkle debate at length if given the opportunity.

Auntie rating: ★★★★☆ Respectable. The sprinkles are optional. The Council remains neutral.

☕ The Espresso Drinker

“I don’t have time for your milk.”

You are either Italian, or you’ve decided to be Italian, and there is no meaningful difference in practice. You order a double espresso, you stand at the counter, you drink it in approximately forty-five seconds, and you get on with things. You find the British habit of sitting down with an enormous milky beverage for forty minutes both baffling and inefficient.

There is a very specific type of person who orders an espresso in Britain. They know the barista’s name. They have the shot without being offered it. They leave a reasonable tip and nod once in the manner of someone completing a business transaction. They do this every working morning.

What the research says: Espresso drinkers are “quite adventurous and powerful — strong in character, who knows what they want.” Similar to someone who “walks into a bar and has a shot of whiskey.” Decisive, goal-driven, no-nonsense.

Personality verdict: Efficient to the point of being slightly alarming. Has a very tidy desk. Possibly hasn’t taken a full lunch break since 2019. Excellent in a crisis. Exhausting at dinner parties because they keep trying to move things along.

Auntie rating: ★★★★★ The Council approves enormously. Just don’t be weird about it at brunch.

☕ The Americano Drinker

“I like black coffee but I need it to last longer than twelve seconds.”

The Americano — espresso diluted with hot water to approximate the length of a drip coffee — is the drink of the quietly practical person. You want the flavour of espresso, the volume of a proper cup, and you have no particular feelings about milk either way. You are, emotionally, in a stable place.

Americano drinkers are the sleeper pick of the coffee world. Underrated. Quietly competent. The person at the office who fixes the problem nobody else noticed was a problem yet.

What the research says: Americano drinkers are “optimistic and driven individuals” according to the De’Longhi research, with 32% identifying as optimistic. The Council finds this entirely plausible and notes that choosing the efficient version of a coffee rather than the dramatic one does suggest someone with a pragmatic worldview.

Personality verdict: Dependable, clear-headed, not here for the performance of coffee. Has strong opinions about things that matter and no opinions about things that don’t. Will choose a good pub over a trendy one every time, and will be correct.

Auntie rating: ★★★★★ Underappreciated. The Council sees you.

☕ The Mocha Drinker

“I would like coffee, but I would also like it to feel like a treat.”

You have found the intersection of coffee and hot chocolate and you have decided to live there, and the Council respects the commitment. The mocha is not trying to be anything other than what it is — a warm, chocolatey, satisfying drink — and there is genuine dignity in knowing exactly what you want.

Mocha drinkers are the people who order pudding at restaurants without checking if anyone else is. They are not apologetic about enjoying things. The Council finds this admirable.

What the research says: Mocha drinkers are described by behavioural experts as “the most Instagram-friendly order” and likely to be “extroverted, outgoing, and potentially quite loud.” They are also, according to De’Longhi’s research, the coffee order most associated with sex appeal. The Council notes this finding with interest and declines to comment further.

Personality verdict: Sociable, enthusiastic, genuinely fun. Will suggest the pudding and eat most of it themselves and feel no remorse. Has a loud laugh that carries across a café but in a way that makes everyone nearby smile rather than sigh.

Auntie rating: ★★★★☆ The Council is fond of you. You would be excellent at a bake-off.

☕ The Oat Milk Latte Drinker

“The planet matters to me and I’d also like people to know that it matters to me.”

You are not dairy-free because of a medical requirement. You are dairy-free because you read an article in 2021 and made a decision and you’ve stuck to it, and fair enough. The oat milk latte is, genuinely, a very good drink — oat milk froths exceptionally well and produces a naturally sweet, slightly nutty flavour that many baristas privately prefer to dairy.

The Council’s concern is not the drink. The Council’s concern is the slight but perceptible pause before you specify oat milk, during which something flickers across your face that suggests you are considering whether to mention the environmental context, deciding against it, and then feeling a small sense of virtue regardless.

What the research says: Oat milk latte drinkers are the most health and environmentally conscious Brits. They are also, according to research on ethical coffee purchasers, more likely to be extroverted and conscientious individuals who will pay more for something they believe in.

Personality verdict: Principled. Probably has a reusable cup — one of the very few who actually remember to bring it. Follows multiple sustainability accounts. Has complicated feelings about flying. Makes excellent food recommendations because they’ve thought carefully about where things come from.

Auntie rating: ★★★★☆ The Council approves of the principles. The oat milk is empirically good. Just don’t tell us about the carbon footprint of the biscuit.

☕ The Flavoured Syrup Latte Drinker

“The base is coffee but the vision is dessert.”

Hazelnut. Vanilla. Caramel. Salted caramel. Caramel with sea salt and a caramel drizzle as well, in case the caramel wasn’t communicating clearly enough.

You are not here for coffee. You are here for a warm, sweet, comforting beverage that contains coffee as a structural element, and there is nothing wrong with that — the Council has said this before and will say it again — as long as you do not also describe yourself as someone who “really needs their coffee.” What you really need is a hug and approximately 47 grams of sugar, and the drink is providing both. This is fine.

What the research says: Flavoured coffee drinkers are statistically the most likely to describe themselves as funny (61%) and people-pleasers (34%). They are also, according to De’Longhi’s research, “social, outgoing, and childlike, enjoying spontaneity.”

Personality verdict: Fun. Warm. Will always pick the most interesting thing on the menu even if it sounds slightly unhinged. Sends voice notes. Has strong opinions about the pumpkin spice latte that they will share unprompted from September onwards.

Auntie rating: ★★★☆☆ The Council does not judge. The Council does gently suggest trying the drink without the syrup once. Just once.

☕ The Decaf Drinker

“I’ve made peace with my limitations.”

You have been through something. Perhaps several somethings. You used to drink regular coffee — you may have drunk considerable quantities of regular coffee — and then at some point your body, your doctor, or a particularly vivid 3am ceiling-staring session suggested that perhaps the relationship needed to change.

You are now a decaf person, and you have arrived at a place of acceptance that the Council finds genuinely moving.

The important thing — and the Council wants to be clear about this — is that decaf coffee has improved enormously. The sugarcane process decafs from roasters like Caravan and Workshop are genuinely excellent. You are not being punished. You are simply drinking coffee that has had one specific thing removed.

What the research says: Research suggests decaf drinkers are “cautious, do not like the unknown, and like to understand risk factors.” They are also, according to Dr. Durvasula’s survey, “more likely to be controlling, obsessive, and perfectionistic.” The Council notes that this is simply called “having standards.”

Personality verdict: Self-aware. Has done the maths on their caffeine intake and acted accordingly, which frankly puts them ahead of most people. Sleeps well. Will outlive the espresso drinker by at least fifteen years. Gets the last laugh.

Auntie rating: ★★★★☆ Respect. We recommend Caravan’s Risaralda. You deserve good things.

☕ The Instant Coffee Person

“I am not doing this for pleasure.”

You are not at a coffee shop. You are at a kettle, at 7:14am, in a kitchen that is too cold because you haven’t turned the heating on yet, making a cup of Nescafé Gold Blend because you need to be conscious enough to find your keys and you have allocated approximately ninety seconds to this task.

The Council does not judge you. The Council has been you. The Council is, on some mornings, still you.

What the Council does gently note is that 73% of Brits make instant coffee at home as their primary method, and that for roughly £80 — an AeroPress and a hand grinder — this can change entirely. The gap between a jar of granules and a freshly ground cup from decent beans is not subtle. It is transformative. It is, in fact, one of the most cost-effective quality-of-life improvements available to any person in the United Kingdom.

Personality verdict: Pragmatic. Efficient. Has seventeen browser tabs open. Will get around to buying a proper coffee maker as soon as things calm down. Things have not yet calmed down.

Auntie rating: ★★☆☆☆ The drink, not the person. The person is doing their best.

☕ The Iced Coffee in January Person

“Meteorological conditions are a construct.”

You are reading this in a coat. You may be reading it outside. There is a large plastic cup of something cold in your hand. It has ice in it. The temperature outside is four degrees Celsius and you are making direct eye contact with the Council’s representative while consuming a beverage designed for warmer climates.

We have discussed this in our Coffee Crimes dossier. We will not repeat ourselves at length. We will only note that Finland — a country that spends approximately six months in conditions that make British January feel balmy — drinks more coffee per capita than almost any nation on earth, and does so hot.

Personality verdict: Chaotic neutral. Refuses to be told what to do, including by the weather. Probably also wears shorts in October. Excellent company. Slightly exhausting.

Auntie rating: ★★★☆☆ Bold choice. Godspeed.

☕ The Cold Brew Enthusiast

“I have discovered something and I need you to know about it.”

Cold brew coffee — coarse grounds, cold water, twelve to twenty-four hours of patient steeping — is genuinely excellent. Smooth, low-acid, naturally sweet, with a depth of flavour that hot brewing can’t replicate. The Council endorses it.

The Council does not endorse the monologue. The unprompted fifteen-minute explanation of the process, the ratio, the ideal steep time, the merits of different bean origins for cold brewing, and the reasons why your cold brew is better than any cold brew available commercially. We have sat through this conversation. We have sat through it many times. We would like a word in return occasionally.

What the research says: Cold brew drinkers are statistically the most likely to be the “life and soul of the party” (55% in the De’Longhi survey). The Council observes that life and soul of the party is a description that works best in moderation.

Personality verdict: Enthusiastic. Creative. Genuinely interesting. Has a tendency to go deep on whatever they’re currently into. Magnificent friend when you’re struggling. Occasionally needs redirecting at dinner parties.

Auntie rating: ★★★★☆ We love you. Please let us speak sometimes.

☕ The “Whatever’s Fine” Person

“I genuinely do not mind.”

You are standing in a café. Someone has asked what you’d like. You have said “oh, whatever’s fine — anything, really.” The barista has stared at you. Your companion has stared at you. The queue behind you has shifted slightly.

There is a menu. It lists the available options. You have looked at it. You have decided that communicating a preference from this list is, for reasons the Council cannot fully fathom, not something you’re prepared to do right now.

Personality verdict: Deeply agreeable to the point of being faintly mysterious. Has a preference — everyone has a preference — but considers expressing it more trouble than it’s worth. Conflict-averse to a heroic degree. Will enjoy whatever they’re given. Will occasionally think, quietly, about the flat white they might have ordered.

Auntie rating: ★★★☆☆ Pick something. Anything. The barista has other customers.

The Council’s Final Summary

The De’Longhi research found that 64% of Brits believe your coffee order says something about your personality. The Psych Central analysis notes that scientifically speaking, the evidence is limited. The Auntie Council’s position sits somewhere between the two: coffee choices are real signals — of habit, of self-image, of how much you care about the details — but they are not destiny.

What they are is an excellent starting point for a conversation. And the best place to have that conversation is over a properly made coffee, with beans that were roasted within the last three weeks, brewed at 93 degrees, in a cup that isn’t a paper thing you’ll throw away on your way to the tube.

Come to RateMyCuppa. Rate your order. Tell the Auntie Council what you drink. We’re building the data, one cup at a time.

Quick Reference — The Council’s Verdicts at a Glance

Where do you fall? Rate your brew on RateMyCuppa and see what the Auntie Council makes of your cuppa. The dossier is always accepting new submissions.